How to Support Your Child's Mental Health

Takeaway: Modeling healthy behaviors, coping skills, and conversations at home creates safe and nurturing spaces for your child’s mental health. Exemplifying these roles early in a child’s life improves outcomes from mental health treatment; however, it is never too late to start supporting your child’s mental health.

There is no formula that parents can use to raise their children, which makes it difficult for parents to figure out how to support their children so they can grow up to be happy and healthy. Oftentimes, parents feel scared, lost, guilty, or even ashamed when it comes to supporting their children. “It’s okay for parents to feel this way, but it is also important to be supportive and as helpful as you can be for your child,” says Hannah Adams, Therapist at Feel Good Counseling Center. The emotions that arise when parenting are valid and normal. However, parents should ready themselves for any struggle their child may experience by being emotionally available.

Nikhat Bala, a therapist at Feel Good Counseling Center, explains what it means to be emotionally available and states that this involves “listening to them with full attention.” This looks like providing an environment free of distraction, judgment, and defensiveness, which allows for a safe space for the child to speak honestly. She summarizes that there are four main components of emotional availability that are essential to create trust between family members. From parent to child, these components sound like, “I’m here, you are safe, I am listening, your feelings matter.”

“Children thrive when parents are emotionally available and responsive and create a safe, supporting environment.” - Nikhat Bala, QMHP

It is never too late to start preparing yourself and your child for life’s challenges; however, early intervention is always better. But what is “early intervention”?

Early intervention follows a proactive approach to protecting someone’s wellbeing. The earlier parents model safe, encouraging, inclusive, and healthy behavior at home, the more likely it is for their children to follow their lead. If young children see healthy behaviors such as healthy communication regarding feelings, problem solving, working together, deep breathing, self care, journaling, and mindfulness, they will absorb those habits and values. When these interventions are consistently modeled in the home environment, they can help prevent problems from escalating, build healthy coping skills, and support long-term growth.

Actively monitoring signs of mental health concerns early on can reduce the escalation and distress that comes with symptoms. The benefits of being proactive in your child’s wellbeing will not only improve the outcomes of treatment, but can prevent some of these issues from appearing altogether. 

Early intervention can look like:

1. Identifying signs and symptoms of mental health disorders 

2. Reaching out for support immediately after these concerns arise or worsen

3. Connecting your child to adequate mental health services (school counselors, therapists, etc)

4. Modeling appropriate and healthy behaviors for the child to observe and learn from

5. Having open conversations 

While early intervention is ideal, it’s never too late to begin modeling positive behaviors and seeking support. It might feel discouraging if your child is older, but there are different resources available for older children/adolescents. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help as soon as you realize your child is struggling. Early intervention creates long term resilience. As Nikhat Bala puts it, “long term resilience is the ability to consistently bounce back from life’s challenges.” Creating healthy habits improves the chances that children will overcome obstacles that they face because their baseline wellbeing is already higher. 

It is normal to struggle with your mental health as a parent – no one gets it right all the time and we learn as we go. “Showing your child health habits, coping skills, and positive behaviors can make a big difference. Remember, it is never too late to start building health habits,” advises Katrina Gelazius, owner of Feel Good Counseling Center.

Something that can be helpful when you are struggling is to be honest with your child about your struggles in an age appropriate way. Creating open and honest conversations about mental health decreases stigma and increases the likelihood your child reaches out to you for help when they need it. But what does being honest in an “age appropriate way” look like?

Every individual has different timelines for physical and mental growth and maturity. However, children of all ages can sense when something is wrong with their caregivers. Telling your child what is causing your stress can ease their anxiety. Not knowing what is going on can create confusion and discomfort. Being able to tell your child what your worries are in a way that they understand based on their maturity can improve both your and your child’s mental health. “Children are very intuitive; they can tell when something is wrong even if nothing is said,” Nikhat adds. Your child may pick up on signs of struggle but might not know how to help or reduce stress in their parents, which can be hard for a kid. However, it is not your child’s job to support your mental health, even though they might try. What is important is showing them that you’re actively working on your challenges. This not only reassures them that you’re taking care of yourself, but also teaches them valuable skills in resilience, problem-solving, and emotional regulation that they can carry into their own lives.

Mental illnesses look different for everyone, but they can also change over time. Children might present different behaviors than adults with the same diagnosis. Some of the most common diagnosis for children are:

1. Anxiety Disorders 

2. Depression

3. ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

4. ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)

5. Learning Disorders

6. Eating Disorders 

7. ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

8. Conduct Disorder

Many parents struggle with the same or similar mental concerns that their children do, it just presents differently throughout one’s lifetime. In order to aid your child in their specific needs, we urge parents to do research on the signs and symptoms they observe and work with your child on finding solutions and coping skills. Having supportive parents that seek professional help as soon as they realize there might be a problem improves the outcomes of treatments. These children who receive early intervention and create long term resilience don’t suffer as long or intensely with any mental health concerns they have. 

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