Coping With Grief

Takeaway: The grieving process isn’t straightforward and can appear differently between individuals. Giving yourself grace and time can help the healing process. If the grief persists for an extended period of time, causing distress, there are options available to help.

Grief, like all emotions, shows up differently from person to person. It can often show up in crying, sadness, anger, self-isolation, pain, changes in sleeping, and longing. Feeling grief for extended periods of time can result in an inability to adapt to the new reality. It is hard to accept when something changes and move past the grief and loss. If you are experiencing grief, you are entitled to feel your own emotions. 

In our fast-paced society, experiencing mourning and loss can get in the way of functioning “normally.” However, you should be allowed to experience the feelings that arise and work through them at your own pace. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and don’t put pressure on yourself to “get over it” or move past it quickly. Gently honor your reactions and feelings. Emotions are your body’s way of surviving situations in the present and preparing you for better handling stress in the future. 

“Be kind to yourself. Don’t rush the grieving proceses - the way you carry it will change in time.” -Madalina Roscan, Mental Health Professional

Different cultures have different ways of expressing, experiencing, and coping with grief and loss. Some cultures emphasize grieving privately. Some grieve as communities and emphasize support from loved and trusted people. No matter what way you grieve, there are expectations for how long the mourning period should be or how grief should look. Find and honor the way you grieve. 

If you are having a hard time coping with grief and would like help to grow despite the grief, there are treatment options. Leaning on your existing support systems such as friends or family can help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. You can find closure with yourself and with others. Closure is coming to terms with your reality and finding liberation after emotional discomfort. You can also talk to a mental health professional such as a therapist who can help treat symptoms of depression, anxiety, and trauma that are often seen alongside individuals who are grieving. Groups where other people with similar feelings can share their experiences may be helpful in creating a sense of community and belonging, and reduce isolation. If the feelings persist for more than four months, it might be worth it to reach out to a psychiatrist. 

However you grieve, it is important to know that you cannot blame yourself for feeling the way you do. It is easy to fall into rumination by questioning “what if” and “why.” You can learn to observe these thoughts and feelings without judgement, while also recognizing when it’s important to interrupt the negative cycle of emotions. Reject any pressure to grief in a certain way - your process is your own.

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