For many parents, a sleeping baby nearby means a tip-toe quietly around the house and “shushing” anyone that dares to speak. Then, without provocation the baby stirs and cries. Do you pick her up or let her cry? Rock her to sleep or put her in the bed with you and your partner? Feelgood Health has consulted a Psychologist for the do’s and don’ts of sleep routines, as well as some natural tips - so without delay, let’s dive in!
Although we may not realize it, babies know how to sleep! This statement may sound odd and rudimentary, but babies are born with an intrinsic and built in system to wind down at regular intervals. They may have a small body, but they have a big ‘body clock’. The newly born brain needs to sleep most of the day and it doesn’t take much for a baby to fall into slumber – most times just a full tummy and warm cradle will do nicely!
Having said that, we must be realistic too. Some babies suffer with colic, teething and other niggles that disturb sleep or make it difficult and uncomfortable. So what should a parent do to ensure good sleep routines and healthy habits? Clinical Psychologist, Michele Carelse advises…
Routine is essential
A baby or small child should have a set sleep routine, that is healthy and most importantly – consistent. As grandma used to say: “start out the way you intend to finish”. Bad habits are hard to break, and even harder with a baby that is learning and absorbing things from birth. Remember, as parents we are “schooling” our infants on life techniques. And this applies to sleep routine too.
To pick up or not to pick up?
No parent enjoys seeing a baby in distress. There have been great debates on whether or not it is healthy to let a child cry itself to sleep, and opinion is still divided. However, it makes common sense that a baby in distress will cry out. This is observed even in the wild with animals and their young – it’s nature’s way of calling mum if there is danger, or if baby is hurt or hungry! So what would happen in modern day times if a baby in a cradle awoke, started crying and was ignored? We’d hate to witness this as a controlled experiment, but it has been established that through sheer exhaustion a baby will eventually stop crying.
Unfortunately this comes with a price, as in the process the foundation for a rather harsh and unnecessary life lesson has been laid: Crying equals, well… nothing. No one is coming. Baby has learnt to give up. And furthermore, on an emotional level, it has learnt that it cannot and should not rely on anyone else for comfort, protection or rescue. In addition, studies have revealed that babies who are left to cry generally cry 50% more than those who are attended to!
However, if baby is picked up, sung to, rocked and pampered, another habit is set in place, with baby then struggling to fall asleep without the ‘pampered’ routine. So in essence, there should be a balance. If baby fusses a little, a little rocking of the cradle, or a soothing word or two is great, but try not to become too involved in the process of getting baby to sleep – letting your baby know that you are there, and at hand is adequate. If baby cries for longer than a minute, or becomes overly distressed, it is always better to respond, as this usually indicates that baby is hungry, wet, too hot or too cold, perhaps teething or struggling with indigestion or colic.
(Remember nature, and a baby animal trying to tell mom something!) A baby will seldom cry for the sake of crying – it does not serve a purpose.
What if baby cries for you all the time?
The best thing to do is to attend to your child without giving in to his or her every whim. Chances are your little one wants to be picked up, entertained or simply wants your attention. Offer babies a comforting cuddle to calm them down if need be, or simply pat them back to sleep. The reassurance of your gentle touch or your hushed voice is enough to reassure them without fussing about them too much. They will soon learn that you are not much fun at night, but at least you are still there if needed. It also helps to learn your baby’s cry – and most parents will soon be able to discern between the “something’s wrong cry” and the “hey, where is everybody cry”. You can always expect your baby to fuss when putting the routine into place, and even once the routine has been established. Even though baby is sleepy, being with you and in on the action is much more fun than sleep!
Most experts agree that no harm can be done in letting babies fuss a little, as long as they are not distressed - after all, they are entitle to voice their little opinions, but you don’t have to agree.
What should I do if my baby cries in the night?
When your baby fusses during the night, it is often a good idea to wait a little and see what happens. Babies often make fussing noises in their sleep, and if they do wake up and start niggling, they will very often go back to sleep by themselves if given the opportunity. By not interfering you are teaching your little one the important skill of self-soothing - however if niggling and fussing turn into serious crying, a diaper/nappy check and quick comfort are definitely in order.
How about sleeping in mom and dad’s bed?
This is a very personal choice. While this habit may be hard to break in later years, shared time in bed can provide a baby with valuable bonding time (especially if mom or dad work most of the day). Again, it is up to the parents concerned. Also, it is far easier for mom to breastfeed with baby sleeping in the bed, or close nearby! So long as both parents are OK with it, there is no harm in allowing baby to share the family bed. Most children will voluntarily choose their own beds as they grow older.
Sounds or silence?
While it may seem like a good idea to make the house as quiet as possible, thereby allowing a baby to sleep in peace, this may lead to a baby becoming overly sensitive to noise. It is a good idea to keep normal house routines in place – if the television is on at night, or the dog barks, these are normal sounds of activity, and a baby will get used to it. Also, it’s these comforting sounds that let a baby know on a subconscious level that it is not alone. Interestingly, the sounds they heard while in the womb were about twice as loud as a vacuum cleaner - so babies thrive on strong rhythmic noise! You may want to try a radio tuned to transmit static (but make sure it is not too loud), or a CD especially composed to assist with baby slumbers - or even let her sleep near the dishwasher!
Five Useful Tips for Mom and Dad
Help baby to ‘wind down’
There are two techniques that can provide bonding time, while at the same time prep a baby for sleep. First, dad can try holding baby so that the head rests close to dad’s neck. He should then talk for ten to fifteen minutes – as men have a lower voice, this will soothe baby and these low sounds will help the baby’s brain to ‘wind down’. The second technique is to ‘wear’ baby in a sling, close to mom’s body, half an hour before bedtime. Mom should go about her usual house routines, this close contact will help baby make the transition from being overly awake, to soothing sleep.
Avoid eye contact
For newborn babies – you may also want to avoid making eye contact during those feedings in the early hours of the morning. Doctors believe that when your baby locks eyes with you, her heart rate speeds up, her blood pressure rises, and she becomes more awake. It is definitely recommended that you make plenty of eye contact during the day so she knows it's time to be awake! (Also, it boosts brain development and bonding).
Light and shade
Light is an easy way to regulate babies' circadian rhythm (the body's internal clock). You may want to try plugging lamps into dimmers (available at hardware stores), and when the sun goes down in the evening, lower the lights (even if your baby isn't going right to bed). This will help to reinforce baby’s natural internal clock. Also make sure your home is brightly lit during the day, even if he's napping, so as not to disturb this built in mechanism.
Do a quick spa treatment
Studies done at the Touch Research Institutes at the University of Miami School of Medicine found that newborns that had a bedtime massage fell asleep faster and slept more soundly than those who didn't have one! Before bed, give your baby a 15-minute massage using slow strokes, moderate pressure, and a baby-safe oil. (See our informative article on baby massage and baby-safe oils!).
Breathe easy
It’s a good idea to slow down your breathing as this sends your baby a signal to be calm and restful. While baby on your chest, you can try using headphones to listen to calming music that's slower than your heartbeat and then breathe to the slow, steady rhythm. As baby needs melodic soothing sounds to wind down, the Rocking Chair Relaxation CD can be of great benefit as it has been created with this in mind - for peaceful and relaxed babies. This especially composed CD has been commissioned by a Clinical Psychologist to relax your mind as well as baby’s and would be ideal to use to ‘wind down’. Containing the right combination of new sounds and repetitive melodies, it will also stimulate cognitive and neurological development in your baby while encouraging a deep appreciation for music in your child.
But what about natural sleep aids?
Most parents would agree that the practice of giving a newborn a ‘sleep aid’ is controversial. Not so with Triple Complex Sleep Tonic. This all-natural biochemic tissue salt remedy has been formulated by a Clinical Psychologist along with experts in the field of natural medicine. It is perfectly safe to give to newborns – in fact it is safe for all ages, as biochemic tissue salts occur naturally in the body on a cellular level! Triple Complex Sleep Tonic can therefore be used without trepidation, to safely and naturally promote healthy sleep cycles and brain health in babies and children of all ages!
Sometimes, children older than 6 months need a little extra help soothing themselves into slumber. In these cases, aptly named Du Du Drops is the all-natural solution. This gentle and effective child sleep remedy contains herbal and homeopathic ingredients to promote natural sleep, bringing welcome rest to the child who struggles with the transition into peaceful slumber. This remedy has also been formulated by a Clinical Psychologist taking into account the need for a remedy to address bedtime behaviour and stable bedtime patterns. Simply dropped into a glass of warm milk or juice – this chamomile infused formula is a welcome addition to a bedtime story and a soothing lullaby. (See our informative article below on sleep habits for kids)
Sometimes upset sleep is not baby’s fault. Teething and colic are the leading cause in disturbed sleep, but thankfully there are two natural remedies to help mom and dad address these niggles too. Colic Calmer is a pure homeopathic remedy to naturally relieve symptoms of infant colic and promote sleep at the same time as soothing tiny tummies.
What about teething? OralSoothe has been developed using only natural ingredients to help ease the pain, stress and irritability of the teething process – finally, a natural alternative to OTC painkillers and alcohol based gels! This gentle yet effective baby-friendly remedy is simply sprinkled onto the tongue to calm and soothe your little one, while providing fast pain relief and as well as added strength to emerging new teeth.
Now that you have all the help you need from Mother Nature, the rest is up to you! Be consistent, yet comforting, adding flexibility when needed and plenty of cuddles and love and you have the recipe for good habits that will set the foundations for years of peaceful sleep for both you are your cherub!
Disclaimer: The information on this website is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat or cure and is not a substitute for a professional consultation with a medical or health professional. Do not make any changes or additions to your prescription medicine without first consulting your doctor. Should symptoms persist, please consult your doctor.
For many parents, a sleeping baby nearby means a tip-toe quietly around the house and “shushing” anyone that dares to speak. Then, without provocation the baby stirs and cries. Do you pick her up or let her cry? Rock her to sleep or put her in the bed with you and your partner? Feelgood Health has consulted a Psychologist for the do’s and don’ts of sleep routines, as well as some natural tips - so without delay, let’s dive in!
